Nicole Kidman has been making the rounds on the press tour for her new movie Australia, and she spoke to Glamour magazine about life with her husband, Keith Urban, their 3 1/2-month-old daughter Sunday, and what it was like being married to a mega star at 23.
On who Sunday looks like: “Keith! It’s fine by me, having a little Keith-ette. When he goes away, I can look at her and see him.”
On if she’s happier than ever before: “Yes. But “happy” isn’t an all-encompassing-enough word. I’m in a place of gratitude and humility. I don’t take any of it for granted. I touch wood every day. The journey of life—we all go through it: You have love, you lose love, you find new love. To have love again is a beautiful thing.”
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On if Keith is with her in London while she rehearses for her next movie, the musical Nine: “He’s back and forth, finishing up his tour. But we have a thing where we’re not separated for more than a week. I have reached a stage in my life when I want to be with the ones I love. I used to be willing to do two weeks. And that is too much now; my heart aches.”
On if she’s more in touch with her needs now: “Yes. I’ve given a lot to my work, and I’m not willing to give as much to that anymore. At this time in my life, I want to be giving to my relationships. And out of that, whatever work you do prospers because you have more to give. [Pauses.] There’s something very primal about giving birth. It puts you in a state of being very raw. I can’t bear to be separated from Sunday Rose. That’s why I haven’t yet gotten a daytime nanny, but at some stage I probably will have one.”
On how the birth was: “Keith was my rock during childbirth. I’d heard horror stories of 40 hours of labor, and I was sure that would be me, but I had a very easy labor. And through it all, Keith’s eyes gave me such strength.”
On how kids Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, are with Sunday: “They’re very adoring of her. They’re used to having a little one around, because of Suri [Ex Tom Cruise’s daughter with Katie Holmes]. Bella is very maternal. Connor would like one of us to have a boy. He wants that boy. [Pauses.] Katie…? [Laughs.]“
On being married at 23 to one of the biggest stars in America while still being a new actress: “I felt I became a star only by association. I didn’t think [the early movies] were very good, which is why I would always cower in the background. I thought, I don’t deserve to be here. We would go to the Oscars and I would think, I’m here to support him. I felt it was my job to put on a beautiful dress and be seen and not heard.”
On throwing herself into her work after their divorce: “I went six years alone. I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but it’s better to be alone than in a lousy relationship. Work was my escape. I was existing more strongly in my creative world than in my own world.”
On what she learned from that: “How to stand on my own two feet. I had to find my own identity, and my own reason for being here, and it couldn’t be because of another person.”
On what advice she would give her younger self, the woman married to the superstar: “Be kind to yourself.”
And the woman devastated by divorce: “The sun always rises tomorrow, and through this shall come light.”
And what she would tell the readers: “As a woman now, I want to share things. I have girlfriends in their twenties, and I say, “Ask me anything. You can learn from the things I did wrong, and you can learn from the things you think I’m doing right. Take whatever you want and make it your own.” So: Have no regrets. Every relationship leads you to where you’re meant to be. Learn to be comfortable with being alone. Learn to be comfortable with saying no to people; we put everybody else before ourselves. Read great literature; don’t get all your information from TV. Define your moral code—nobody else is going to give you that. Find it yourself. Keep asking questions, keep challenging. You don’t have to conform. Rebellion creates character. And, as my mother always said to me, “Don’t let anyone break your spirit!””