Mom Jada Pinkett-Smith graces the cover of the July issue of Redbook. The 37-year-old HawthoRNe star talks to the magazine about the challenge of balancing work and family life, and shares the sexy secrets behind her 11-year marriage to Will Smith.
On her husband: “Will’s really smart. He’s very conscious and present.”
On relationships: “There’s a certain amount of safety you have to create for someone to feel like they can be open to you… That’s something we forget in marriages and relationships – they have to be places of safety, because they’re where you are most vulnerable. If you’re not allowed to be safe, I don’t know if you can reach the depths of connection that support commitment. You can be committed to somebody because of ego: ‘I said I was going to be with this joker for the rest of my life, so I’m just going to do it.’ Or you can be committed because you have a deeply rooted connection.”
On her tips for keeping the spark alive: “Nice outfits and high heels! And talking. And making time. You’ve got to make time. Our men want to feel important. We want to feel important. So it’s about establishing an environment in which that can happen. It can be hard because we get caught in the grind of life. Establish relationships with family members or friends and take turns with each other’s kids so you can make that time for yourselves. It doesn’t take a lot of money – wallets are tight right now – so just simple stuff. A night walk? Man, do I love those. Or pack a lunch and go to the park, like Will and I did. Even a drive – and then pull over on the side of the road! Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex. Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Be sneaky. Your girlfriend’s house at a party. The bathroom! A guest bedroom! Just switch it up. Anything like that can keep it going. Anything it takes to keep the flame alive.”
On seeing herself in kids Jaden, 11 next month, and Willow, 8, and stepson Trey, 16: “Oh, yes. I see myself in Willow and Jaden – and in Trey, and he’s not even my biological child! It’s amazing because you can see the most beautiful parts of yourself in your children. That’s what I love most. When I look at my kids, I go, ‘I hope to God they don’t get my ugly parts. Get your own ugly stuff, not mine!’”
On balancing career and kids: “When I’m tired, I rest. I say, ‘I can’t be a superwoman today.’ I’m really trying to work on the receiving part, on how to give to myself. When I need a minute, I just want quiet. I need peace. I like being alone. I get up every morning about 5:45 and meditate for 20 or 30 minutes. The house is silent, and the sky is just about to break. And then I go out and I run the canyons. That’s been really good for me, a good way to start my day.”