Lily Allen: Grief Of Miscarriage “Hit Me Like A House Collapsing”

Lily Allen: Grief Of Miscarriage "Hit Me Like A House Collapsing"

Almost two years after suffering a miscarriage, 24-year-old singer Lily Allen says she often thinks about the baby she lost.

“I still get sad. I still think. I don’t mark my baby’s birth but it’s always there. It changed a lot,” she reveals.

The Smile singer, who was dating Ed Simons of the Chemical Brothers at the time, confirmed the pregnancy in late 2007, but by January 2008 she had announced the news of the miscarriage.

Lily recalls what it was like to have to live through such a painful experience in the public eye.

“I couldn’t even compute the emotions going through my head, but I was having to put out a press release about my miscarriage.

“I had this public sympathy for about five days and then everyone was on my case again and I didn’t know what was happening to me.

“I just didn’t deal with it at all. I didn’t even start beginning to deal with it until the baby’s due date. Then it just hit me like a house collapsing. The week before the due date, all I wanted to do was talk about my baby but I also felt I shouldn’t. I was working non-stop and I had all this inside my head.”

Lily, who eventually sought counseling to help her deal with her grief, says that life these days is good.

“It’s not about being famous, it’s not about all the parties, it’s not about wanting to be the biggest pop star on the planet,” she muses. “It’s about being happy. For me, that is [my boyfriend] Sam [Cooper], spending time at home, sorting out bed linen – being normal.”

Filed under: Lily Allen

Photo credit: BIG PICTURES/bauergriffinonline.com

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  1. Theresa

    perhaps she is/was self-destructive to deal with the pain…if you haven’t lost a child…you have no idea how hard it is to keep going when you feel ripped apart inside…how you can still be breathing when every breath hurts…the shock…the saddness…we all deal with grief in our own way…for her…alochol and drugs may have “helped” however now she sounds like she is taking care of herself and seeking counceling to deal with her feelings…

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      She was self-destructive before and after her brief pregnancy. I’ve been listening to her music and am a fan, but she’s always drunk out of her mind even while performing. She needs to get her life together and deal with her issues before bringing a child into this world because that’s not the kind of life that should be inflicted on anyone, especially an innocent child. And dealing with difficult issues in an unhealthy way is not excusable because it only exacerbates the issues themselves. Life is full of uncertainty and there could be other tough times ahead, so how will she deal with them? By being self-destructive again? When a child is around, that’s not an option.

      Reply
      • Anonymous

        How about giving the girl a chance? You don’t actually know her and how she’s dealing.
        Maybe this sorting out bed linens and trying to be normal is her getting herself together.
        I also heard that she may be taking a break so let her without ragging on her “destructive behavior”.
        Also, she didn’t mention having another kid already.

        Reply
  2. Sherry

    I admire her honesty and hope she conceives again soon. It won’t replace that precious baby but it will help heal her pain.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Kudos to Lily Allen! I really appreciate her speaking out about the pain of having a miscarriage and all the hopes and dreams that are lost along with a beloved baby. It is a vulnerable place to be and takes a lot of courage for her to speak out about her experience of loss.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    I feel for her for what she went through, but at the same time, she’s so incredibly self-destructive with her drug, smoking, and alcohol issues that I wish she would work on herself before ever attempting a pregnancy again.

    Reply
  5. Pencils

    I was pregnant when she lost the baby and I felt so terrible for her–not only did she have to deal with the grief at losing the baby at such a late point, but also the press who wouldn’t leave her alone about it. Good for her being able to talk about it now. And it reminds me how lucky I am with my beautiful lilttle girl.

    Reply
  6. yummygia

    I am not really a fan of hers, but I feel her agony…I had a miscarriage in May 09 & although I am not in the public eye, my husband wanted to & did tell everyone he knew about the pregnancy, so we had to break the news to everyone about the miscarriage as well. Not only were we in pain, but so was everyone who knew. It made it difficult for the family, so when I get pregnant again we agreed to keep it secret for at least 4 months into it.

    Reply
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