Marie Osmond went through every parent’s nightmare when her son Michael, 18, took his own life last winter. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey airing Thursday (November 11) Marie talks about her son and the last conversation she had with him.
“‘I have no friends,'” she says Michael told her over the phone. Because of her battle with post-partum depression in 1999, Marie understood his pain. “It brought back when I went through depression because you really feel so alone,” she says. “I’m not a depressed person, but I understand that place, that darkness.
“I told him, I said, ‘Mike, I’m gonna be there Monday and it’s gonna be okay,'” she recalls. “But depression doesn’t wait till Monday.”
On Feb. 26 Michael took his life by jumping off the eighth floor of his Los Angeles apartment building. He left behind a note to friends and family in which he expressed a need to be at peace.
His still grief-stricken mother says she’s “been through some tough things” in her life, but his death was “probably the hardest thing I’ve been through,” and still struggles with the “what ifs.”
“I think there’s always ‘what ifs,'” she says. “What if I had just put him on a plane and said come be with me, or gone there? I think if you live in ‘what ifs,’ you stop living.”
Marie returned to the stage for her Las Vegas show the day after Michael’s funeral. “It was really hard. It was a calculated decision,” she tells Oprah. “I’m unique, I guess. I’m a female in the entertainment business who has been working 48 years consistently. My stage is my safe place. It doesn’t scare me, like I guess it scares some people. And I knew that if I didn’t get back on stage that I may never get back on stage.”