Former Blossom star Mayim Bialik calls the birth of her second son Frederick – at home, assisted by a midwife and witnessed by her older son Miles – “one of the most incredible, moving and profound experiences of my life.”
Though she had an “innate desire” for Miles, then 3 years old, to be there for his brother’s birth, she admits she had some worries.
“[W]hat if I wasn’t so serene? What if I screamed and shrieked and cursed?” Mayim writes at kveller.com. “Would that damage him? Scare him? Turn him off to becoming a father when he reached adulthood?”
Shortly before her due date Mayim and her husband showed Miles a kid-oriented video – the preschooler’s first time in front of a TV set – explaining what would happen.
“He was so mesmerized by the lights, the patterns, and the remote control that he hardly seemed to notice that there was a baby coming out of a vagina,” she admits. But once he got over his awe he watched the video “intently and passionately.”
“I held onto the remote’s STOP button when the baby’s heads crowned in each birth, waiting for him to freak out in some way. But he didn’t. He had no notion of it being ‘weird,’ ‘gross,’ or ‘inappropriate.’ His innocence was sobering.”
When the big day came Mayim’s labor was short – after 2 1/2 hours she was ready to push.
“Three pushes later, Frederick slithered out, and Miles was carried out of his highchair to cut the cord. A small spurt of blood startled him, and he promptly asked my husband to finish the job,” she recalls. “Miles then sat down on the floor, and minutes later was handed a bundled up wide-eyed baby brother. He clung to that baby for enough minutes that the midwife had to separate them.”
Looking back, Mayim says she has absolutely no regrets.
“I wish I could tell you that Miles’ initial love for his brother has been sustained for the past 2 years; that he loves his brother more than his fire trucks. But that would be a lie. Having Miles see his brother born in our living room was no solution to sibling rivalry, nor would I say it is the right thing for everyone. But for us, it was a beautiful and organic extension of our parenting philosophy: to let our children experience the world as it is, without being ruled by the fear of ‘What if?'”