Kelly Ripa On Motherhood & Guilt: “I’m Going To Fail Everybody A Little Bit Every Day”

Kelly Ripa On Motherhood & Guilt: "I'm Going To Fail Everybody A Little Bit Every Day"

TV host and actress Kelly Ripa is no stranger to “mom guilt,” trying to balance her busy work schedule with her responsibilities at home with her three children – Michael, 14, Lola, 10, and Joaquin, 8. But for Kelly, dealing with that guilt has become a lot easier now that she’s lowered her expectations.

“Guilt for me is something that I still struggle with. I always feel guilty,” says Ripa. “I think every working mother does have that guilt about failing in some way. But the way I’ve learned to sort of balance it is just by knowing that I’m going to fail everybody a little bit every day.

“Nobody’s going to get hurt. So I just have to sort of relieve myself of feeling the pressure to do everything perfectly every day.”

Another big help? Staying organized, which is something that Kelly learned from hubby Mark Consuelos.

“We have consistency in our schedule. And I have to credit my husband with this, because…he’s always been extraordinarily organized, and he’s really taught me how to simplify my life through organization,” says Ripa. “My children and myself, we know what to expect every day. On Monday, this is the schedule. On Tuesday, this happens. And I think that they benefit from knowing what to expect when they get home.”

As for the notion of adding more children to their family now that things are so consistent, Kelly admits that she’d love to have another baby, but jokes that the only way that’s going to happen is if one shows up on their doorstep.

Ripa is currently busy planning a virtual sleepover with Electrolux to raise money and awareness for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month; an issue that’s close to her heart (both Ripa and Consuelos’ mothers overcame battles with cancer).

For more on her campaign, check out Kelly-Confidential.com.

Filed under: Celebrity Moms,Kelly Ripa

Photo credit: Fame

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  1. Lioness

    I disagree with the majority of you- I get the “Mommy guilt” thing. When you become a mom, you give up a lot of yourself- or so it seems, anyway- to give your children what they need. Often it’s a choice between fulfilling your own needs, and fulfilling theirs. I gave birth 2 months ago, and can’t wait to go back to work- because I love my job. It fulfills me. And sometimes I feel guily about that, because I think, “Wow, shouldn’t I just want to be with my son all the time?” But I don’t love my son any less than a mom who chooses to stay at home. Kelly might realize that by doing 2 spin classes a day, she’s helping herself be happy- but feel bad that it doesn’t afford her the time to be the mom who drives her kids to all their soccer practices. Maybe she imagined herself to be that type of mother, and reality told her she isn’t- so she’s mourning that mother she’d thought she’d be. She could stay home more, of course- and be a miserable arse to her kids. Then who’d she be helping?

    I’m not saying that adults should always put happiness over children to be happy parents… and I’m not saying that being a stay-at-home mom is a miserable job. I’m simply saying that you have to find the balance that works for you and your family. Maybe that balance looks bad to outsiders, and that causes guilt.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Seems to me someone is trying to justify her own wants and needs to appease her own guilt…. Nice try.

      I have been a stay at home mom for ten years, leaving behind a lucrative career. I have never regretted my decision and have never been happier.

      Reply
      • Anonymous

        Everyone’s life experiences are different, and just because you were able to leave a lucrative career and not regret it doesn’t mean everyone else is the same.

        I think all of you are being too harsh…I can totally understand how a person would want to have a career and be a mother at the same time. I didn’t perceive it as whiny at all. Just because you make a choice to have a career outside the home, and happen to be a celebrity, and have a lot of material resources, doesn’t mean you aren’t “allowed” to feel some mommy guilt. We all want the best for our kids, even moms who stay home all the time sometimes feel insufficient. Obviously, no one lives in a perfect world, including Kelly, but we all do the best we can and try to handle it as best we can. This is what the article is about—how one woman has come to terms with her life and achieved some balance so she can make the life she has closer to the life she wants. Yes, her situation is very different from most of ours, but there are plenty of “average” mothers who don’t spend enough time with their kids, and plenty of sahm who dont’ spend enough time for themselves. I say kudos to Kelly if she’s found a way to do as much as she can of both. If she’s happy and her family and career aren’t suffering for it, who are you to judge?

        Reply
        • Anonymous

          You obviously are her publicist, friend or family member. I do not think anyone, including Kelly, would say her family has not suffered. Her daughter Lola is in my son’s class and she is an extremely precocious child screaming out for attention from her mother. Her former teachers have alluded to this numerous times in the past.

          Is Kelly a nice genuine lady? Of course but there is no way to have it all…those who contend otherwise do so to placate their own guilt feelings.

          Reply
          • Anonymous

            If Lola’s teacher ever commented about something as private as the teacher’s concerns about Lola, then she should be fired. Whatever your personal opinion, the teacher should never share that information about a child to anyone other than the child’s parents.

    • Anonymous

      If staying home with your children is not fulfilling you then why did you have children in the first place? I am tired of hearing women say that if they stay home “I’ll go crazy.” Yet they are still pumping out babies! It’s not about having a family anymore, it’s about “keeping with the Jones.” I “gave up” a teaching career to stay with my kids at home. I don’t feel that I sacrificed. My kids are grown now and I would not have traded my time with them for any career. It was the most wonderful time of my life, I miss it. I am now a grandma and look forward to spending time with my granddaughter. Life’s short ladies. It’s all about the love.

      Reply
  2. Anonymous

    She hosts a show, attends charity events, shoots commercials, gives interviews, is the spokesperson for more than one product, etc. I think it’s clear exactly who she’s failing.

    These aren’t her “work responsibilities”. These are her conscious choices, to take on a half dozen jobs and then talk about “mommy guilt”. She puts herself in that situation. If you wanted to be mommy, you’d be mommy.

    Reply
    • TF

      Well said anonymous @4:26. I graduated high school with Kelly and am friendly with her father on the camden county commission. While she is a genuinely nice and philanthropic person, she has chosen to wear all these hats and only feels “guilt” in the public arena.

      I must also state it bothers me when women differentiate between working moms and stay at home. We all are “working moms” some of us however do not get financially compensated for our efforts. Our rewards come in the form of being a daily presence in our Childs life.

      Reply
      • Anonymous@RichmondVA

        Well said to you too TF.

        Reply
      • Anonymous

        Love that comment TF. For so long I’d say “I’m just a stay at home mom” when people asked what I do. Little do they know how hard it is and you never clock out. Also, Kelly does get help when she asks or needs it unlike most moms who can’t afford to pay someone to do the little “extras” that we can’t get done ;) … just sayin…I’m sure she’s a sweet lady but let’s get real here..

        Reply
        • Chloe

          I agree with both of you. Why does the fact that you stay at home equal not being a “working mom”. I have been both and currently work in the office as my kids are in school now- but it used to really offend me when people stated staying at home was a luxury. Actually I found I made more sacrifices on material levels by not having two incomes in the household. But if it meant being with my kids it was worth it. Either way I worked harder being at home than in the office. There was no such thing as a lunch break;)
          I do really like Kelly though and think she probably spends time with her kids just not enough.

          Reply
    • Anonymous

      What about the hours she spends attending spinning classes at Soul Cycle (I have seen her there on many occasions and used to be an instructor)- I’m talking 2 classes per day. Exercise is part of the equation in being healthy, but over the years, she has steadily been destroying her health.

      Reply
      • Anonymous

        Wow, I didn’t know Kelly’s doctor was posting here! Because if you’re not her doctor, I’m not sure how you could possibly know anything about her health and whether she’s destroying it.

        Reply
        • TF

          Does not take a medical degree to see that she has body dysmorphia to the extent that she has gone from being a healthy looking woman with glowing skin to a haggard much older than her chronological age looking one.

          There os nothing wrong with taking care of yourself but as others have said here if you have stretched your personal time to the limits and then workout as much as she does, you kind of relinquish the right to state publicly you feel
          “mothers guilt” in an effort to garner sympathy.

          Reply
          • Anon2

            She used to be really cute and I loved watching her. Over the years she has become annoyingly self promoting and her “fitness” obsession has made her appear almost inhuman.

            She should be ashamed about her priorities.

          • Anonymous

            It is so true, she is very annoying. Contributes nothing to the show except looking in the monitor at herself. If she feels so guilty then stop taking the commercial jobs and let her husband go out and get a job. He doesn’t seem to feel guity about NOT working.

        • susanne

          Looks like someone’s hit a sore spot with you Anonymous. Why don’t you look after yourself and let Kelly Ripa worry about Kelly Ripa.

          Reply
    • carrie

      So true! Doesn’t she realize how ridiculous she sounds, she obvious loves the money and the children equally, no one is forcing her against her will to work so much- Im tired of the whining celebrities….

      Reply
    • Anonymous

      I admire her for what she has accomplished, but so agree with what you are saying. And she obsesses about being perfectly thin and seems a bit self consumed to me. It is like she is trying to be little miss perfect -a shame when you have three beautiful children to love.

      Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Every commitment Kelly has brings in a lot of money for her family! In a recession would you say no to those kind of opportunities? Plus she does Regis and Kelly in the am for an hour, I think she can handle it all, obviously!

    Reply
    • Janna

      No one is suggesting that she can’t handle it all. But she made millions on All My Children, and continues to make millions on Regis & Kelly, so there is no *monetary* reason for all of the other paid gigs that she takes on. She does it because she wants to, because it fulfills her, whatever her reasons are. That’s all fine. More power to her.

      However, I don’t think you get to *choose* to be away from your family so much and then claim “mommy guilt”.

      Reply
  4. Ondine

    I couldn’t live with myself if I thought I were “going to fail everybody a little bit every day.” That eventually will mount up to a lot of disappointed people.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    So many people know so much about her life and still hide behind ANONYMOUS? If you were so proud to be spewing the negativity, you would sign your name. Instead you all claim to know her family and have insider information while you hide behind a computer screen.

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    Barf…this woman only cares about herself and her career. She has slipped into the world of slime and celebrity sleaze – how pathetic.

    Reply
  7. Amy

    I came here to see the comment not because I somehow know Kelly but because I saw the comment about mommy guilt and thought that since she has 3 kids close to my 3 kids ages I would kill a minute and read the comment. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. This is why we don’t have a woman President. Women picking on each other to make themselves and their choices “feel” better. Stop. Please.
    “The only lasting favor which the parent may confer upon the child is that of helping the child to help ITSELF”….and I wish I could tell you who said this but I only wrote the quote and not the author.
    Our job as mothers is to raise our kids to leave us and become functioning independent adults. Devoting all your time to them isn’t any better than never seeing them. Balance is what she is talking about and I appreciate her having said it.
    PS. Soap Opera actors do not make millions and even if it was billions having a life seperate from your kids is more healthy than not.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Amy – Thank you for representing, stating and addressing the true issue at hand. Supporting one another, moving beyond judgemental statements will result in us respecting the decisions every woman is faced with and ultimately receiving respect from our children and society for any decision we make.
      To all others – Think about how you sound?

      Reply
  8. Sue

    Really Kelly? You are NOT a typical working mother! Staying organized? I am sure housekeepers and staff might help in this area.Mark has held back his career to actually be there for the kids.Regis and Kelly alone you make MILLIONS then you fill days for many other projects.The only honest celebrity mother I ever heard was Jane Pauley during a TV interview ,when asked “how does she manage being a orking mom with twin babies?”She answered”Don’t me amazed with me,I have nannies,housekeepers ,a chef and a gardener.I don’t know how a working mom does it without help.

    Reply
  9. Maggie

    I think there is alot of envy here. You sound like the girls on the outside looking in. I raised 5 children,I held down a full time job,my husband worked and we shared duties. We raised an engineer,a councilman,a police Captain,a movie producer,an army sgt(daughter.) They all grew up normal,we were in 4 h FFA,football,theater,Never did we have a child say we were neglecting them. It can be done.When I retired I began helping with needy kids. So if you want to stay home fine, your choice,but dont put down someone who helps her family have the best.Soap actors do not make millions.They wish they did. Many actors dont make millions.Grow up. Quit trying to tell someone else what they are doing wrong. Maybe theres someone who thinks you are.

    Reply

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