Alanis Morissette may seem like a natural when it comes to motherhood – every time we see her out and about with her husband Mario “Souleye” Treadway and their baby boy Ever she seems to be positively beaming – but in a piece written for iVillage she admits, “I remain baffled at how little I was prepared for what was to come.”
It was all I could do not to cry out for the kind of mothering that I was intending to offer my lil’ one. Someone who could swoop in and just DO THIS FOR ME while they pet my trembling head, while I whimpered in the corner. I remember crying out on a walk up the street, startling a dog. This dog was not easily startled. But no, this motherhood business was my call to rise to. And mine alone,” the ‘Thank You’ singer writes. “And there was no doula alive that could have reached in and taught me what I have learned through experience. There was no midwife who could show me how to grow up, warp-speed from complicated contemplative maiden to accountable matriarch. These things required months of growth and calibrating! And here I naively thought that I would arrive as a MOM at the same time as my lil’ boy arrived as a SON. The latter waaay preceded the former.”
Alanis, who welcomed her son on Christmas Day last year, continues that she didn’t really understand what motherhood meant until she actually experienced it for herself.
“My humility and reduction-to-knees has now found me wanting to kiss the feet of all mothers who have gone before me. I will never be so blithe and casual around the topic of motherhood again! (So sorry, Mom.) Since last December, I’ve borne holes through to the soul of any new mother who will indulge it, with a look that says: “Yes, I am with you.” All this to say that I now look at mommas, whether their birth happened at home, hospital, field, tub, taxicab…anywhere, with or without an epidural, exactly or couldn’t-be-farther-from-their ideal picture of birth, and I bow.”
She concludes: “See, I thought postpartum would be all about the birth of my baby. I had no idea the person I’d always dreamed of becoming was being born at the exact same time.”