America’s Supernanny Helps Family Break The Cycle Of Violence

America's Supernanny Helps Family Break The Cycle Of Violence

This Tuesday (December 20) don’t miss Lifetime’s newest series, America’s Supernanny, starring childcare expert Deborah Tillman. This episode features the largest family Deborah has worked with. With ten kids and two more due at any moment, Deborah must help mom Nicole and dad Sam break the cycle of bullying and violence that has developed in their home. Deborah has to stop the parents from spanking – and even from using a belt!

The Virginia-based wife, mother and author, who boasts more than 19 years experience in early childhood education opens up to Celebrity Baby Scoop about working with the Carzell family.

CBS: Tell us about working with the Carzell family. They have a whopping TEN kids, with 2 more due soon! We hear their busy household has a problem with bullying and violence. How did you help the parents set up the appropriate boundaries and consequences with the children to end this behavior?

DT: “The Carzell family was one of the biggest families I have ever worked with.

One of the major issues I experienced with them was the constant bullying and violent behavior that the kids exhibited toward each other. Bullying, calling each other derogatory names and violence was not going to be tolerated so I showed the parents how to implement positive house rules and appropriate discipline in the household. For the younger children, the “calm down corner” was used and for the older children, I used “lose what you like.”

Once discipline was in place, it was important for me to get the children to stop bullying and being verbally abusive so I did put in place a Family Circle Technique in order to get and keep everyone connected and realizing that each member of the family was valuable and had unique gifts and talents that contributed to making a “family.”

I also had Nevada who received the brunt of the bullying write a letter to her mom and dad telling them how she felt when the other children hurt her so that the parent’s would begin to take responsibility for managing and correcting their children’s behavior.

I showed the children how to be accountable toward one another by using a Role Model Technique so that they would not have to go outside of the house to find a positive person to look up to.

Since the children had no idea how to play appropriately, I put the Team Games Technique in place to teach them outdoor games and activities while being active and positive at the same time.

After getting the children to get along and play together, I needed them to learn compassion and empathy so I took the children to an adult community center where they could learn how to give of themselves and become caring and compassionate human beings.”

CBS: And we hear you also stopped the parents from spanking and using the belt with their children! How did you get the parents to stop their own violent behavior? Were the parents able to see that they are role-modeling violent behavior, and therefore normalizing a violent household?

DT: “The techniques would have not been as effective if I did not have the complete cooperation from the parents. I actually began the techniques with the parents because I wanted them to realize that they as parents needed to be Leading by Example and that they MUST model the behavior they would like for their children to have. Thus, I made the parents sign a Parent Contract. They had to promise to stop spanking with a belt or any other objects, speaking down to and yelling at their children. The parent’s reviewed the contract with the children so that everyone would be held responsible and the children would know that a positive change was going to take place.

By the end of the week, I was excited to see that this house became a home and the Carzells became a “true family.” It was just in time because during my last day, mom went into labor. Now this family can welcome two more “little” ones with loving arms, a disciplined house and a positive spirit.”

Filed under: Deborah Tillman,Exclusives

Photo credit: Lifetime

12 Comments »»

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  1. Julie Worley

    Why is it ok to use pain as punishment for kids, especially administered by taxpayer funded school officials who are entrusted with our children’s care and education, when the very same action is Illegal in Schools in 31 U.S. States, the U.S. Military and Prohibited by Federal Law for use against convicted Felons, murderers and child molesters, in ALL U.S. Prisons? What would happen to any citizen, parent, police officer or U.S. Supreme Court Justice who hit any person or animal with a wooden paddle in public?

    What would happen if State Superintendents took a paddle to hit school officials as punishment for infractions? It would be a world media event, rife with lawsuits and imprisonment for assault! Society’s views on pain to punish children under the guise of “discipline” is changing and most folks don’t like to admit that they have hit their kids. Valuable resources for all child caregivers are available such as “Plain Talk About Spanking” at nospank dot net, sparethekids dot com, dontbeatblackkids dot com and donthitstudents dot com

    Sexual violence against schoolchildren, K-12, is LEGALLY PROTECTED in taxpayer funded public schools in 19 U.S. States that legally allow Pain to Punish Students K-12, Illegal in Schools in 31 U.S.States, over half our nation, constituting “Cruel and Unusual Punishment” akin to allowing State and Local Governments to legally permit Slavery!! Congressman John Kline, Chairman of the House Committee on Education and Workforce has the Power and Responsibility to send H.R. 3027 “The Ending Corporal Punishment in Schools Act” introduced by Rep. Carolyn McCarthy, D-NY, out to the floor for a full vote of Congress, but it DIED again on 12/8/2011, earlier version, H.R. 5628 DIED in House Committee on Education 2010!

    Mandatory Reporters of suspected child abuse, school teachers, coaches and administrators, legally hit schoolchildren, K-12, with thick wooden paddles, SEXUAL ASSAULT when done to a non-consenting adult, to inflict Pain as Punishment for minor infractions, some states such as Tennessee do not require parental consent or notification for schoolchildren to be “Paddled”. Several “School Paddling States” have “Teacher Immunity Laws” to protect school employees from criminal/civil action, leaving INJURED schoolchildren’s families NO LEGAL REDRESS!

    U.S. Federal Courts uphold outrageous incidents of school paddling and the U.S. Supreme Court declines to hear school corporal punishment appeals.

    See 2008 report “A Violent Education” by Human Rights Watch and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) for disturbing FACTS! See donthitstudents dot com. Over the past 4 years, I have collected hundreds of shocking news reports of legal child abuse in schools where children are injured and parents are powerless to protect them.

    The practice of school discipline by “Corporal Punishment” is founded upon the RELIGIOUS conviction of “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child” and FORCED onto taxpayers children in public schools, violating our nation’s constitution regarding liberty, equality and “Cruel and Unusual Punishment”. Please add your voice to federal bill to Abolish School Corporal Punishment of Students in ALL U.S. Schools at dont hit students dot com

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  2. Anonymous

    Is someone going to call DHS ?

    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    This was something that should have been reported to family services, and as a childcare specialist she should have known this and done it. Likewise Shed Media has looked the other was in past supernanny productions. Perhaps a lawsuit will get through to them

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    Why do they have so many kids. Is it religious reasons. They should not keep having children when they don’t seem like they can handle 2 children. The father yells all day and threatens to beat them and the mother looks like shes in a daze. She was talking about things she should discuss with her husband with her oldest child. She lied about how the kids started calling their sister nevada dark. She has issues and needs counseling. There is so much wrong with this family and these parents its just sad. I do hope that childrens services at least checks up on them to see how they are doing because they do need help.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    I def agree with you guys. I could not believe what I was watching. Something needs to be done because I feel even the nanny wont be able to help them that its just a temporary fix. It is utterly ridiculas that they are having more children. Sadly there are a lot of families like that. I had to call my mom and ask her to watch it because that is how I felt I grew up. The cycle does need to be broken because all it caused me to do was act out in school because that was the only time I had away from the chaos. When there is a household with no structure the child(ren) grow up with no knowledge in life. The mom seemed like she had no connection with her children. Maybe because of depression. But why have 10 kids? I noticed it was tough after 3. I just dont get it.

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  6. Anonymous

    I def agree with you guys. I could not believe what I was watching. Something needs to be done because I feel even the nanny wont be able to help them that its just a temporary fix. It is utterly ridiculas that they are having more children. Sadly there are a lot of families like that. I had to call my mom and ask her to watch it because that is how I felt I grew up. The cycle does need to be broken because all it caused me to do was act out in school because that was the only time I had away from the chaos. When there is a household with no structure the child(ren) grow up with no knowledge in life. The mom seemed like she had no connection with her children. Maybe because of depression. But why have 10 kids? I noticed it was tough after 3. I just dont get it.

    Reply
  7. Pamela

    I think these children are in danger they need to be removed ASAP

    Reply
  8. Doni Lankford

    This family lives very close to me now and there is screaming and yelling going on all of the time. THe kids don’t go to school half of the time. You can hear older boys shouting profanity at the younger ones. Seems totally out of control. DSS has been out to there home several times, the police visitis regularly because of neighbors calls. This was not a SuperNanny success story at all. I’ve spoken to six of the kids, including Nevada. They seemed very needy for someone to just talk to them and let them talk about themselves. They asked about my dogs, etc. Very sad situation.

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  9. patentgirl

    following up about the Carzell family – perhaps Lifetime can do a follow-up This episode and the family is very important and has impacted many viewers.

    Reply
  10. Phoebe

    The mum is the problem. She didn’t take the whole thing seriously. The dad was willing to change, it seems to me. But 12 children, really? They must have realised earlier on, by maybe child 3, that they have no capacity to handle so many children. If the situation has reverted, I feel sorry for the kids and my heart goes out to the oldest who was essentially a father to his siblings.

    Reply

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