After a few difficult years, career-wise and other, something completely unexpected happened to Saturday Night Live comedienne Rachel Dratch. At nearly 44 years old, she found herself pregnant with her first child with her California-based partner John Wahl, a man she had dating for only a short time. In a sharply written and deeply moving book titled Girl Walks Into a Bar, the 46-year-old King of Queens star opens up about being single in her early forties, being shocked to learn she was pregnant and being a parent to her 1-year-old son Eli.
About being single in her 40s: “I knew I didn’t want to have a baby on my own and I didn’t have a partner so 40, 41, 42 passes by, and then I was having to let go of the idea of having a child. It caused me anxiety but I was trying to work through it.”
Her reaction about learning she was pregnant: “At the beginning, I was so freaked out — well, more in shock. I didn’t believe it was real. When I saw I was pregnant I wasn’t jumping up and down screaming, “Woo hoo!” I was like, “What?” It was so indelible in my mind what my future was and it was like this big rug pulled out from under me. I was like, “Wait, will I even be a good mother? Do I really want this? Will I be good at this?” I was kind of flooded with all these fears, like now I got what I was wishing for. What am I going to do with that?”
About being a parent to her son: “Yes! It makes all that Hollywood stuff not even matter at all. I think because I wasn’t around babies much, I sort of imagined that they’re crying all the time. I pictured that stereotype of the baby having a tantrum in the grocery store. Yeah, but I pictured that 24/7. Eli appeared as very chilled, smiley and in control. I don’t know, he’s just a lot of fun. I didn’t anticipate the fun factor.”