Bethenny Frankel recently revealed that she suffered a miscarriage while eight weeks pregnant with her second child – a little girl – back in February. In the July issue of Glamour magazine, the 41-year-old reality television star opens up about the emotional details about her and her husband Jason Hoppy‘s heartbreaking ordeal.
“Because my first pregnancy had been complicated, and because I was over 40, the doctor told me that I was “high risk” and needed to take it easy. So I took it so easy. I had to,” she explains. “I was still bleeding, and I was nauseated and uncomfortable—’way worse than last time,’ I said to Jason. I felt seven months pregnant even though I was six weeks along.”
“ And because we hadn’t planned this, I felt unprepared, like we had so much to do to get ready for this baby,” she continues. “Still, I was excited, if cautiously so, with the words high risk ringing in my ears.”
Unfortunately, Bethanny suffered a miscarriage.
“’You’re 41. You had bleeding. There’s nothing you could have done.’ And I hadn’t done anything,” she recalls of her doctor’s response. “Since I’d found out, I’d been lying down for an hour or two every day and lettings others take up the slack. But I blamed myself—of course I did.”
Ten days after learning the devastating news, the Bravo star – who is mother to her 2-year-old daughter Bryn – got a call from her doctor revealing that she would have had a baby girl.
“He told me that the tests came back as ‘female fetus, normal.’ He was reading off a chart, reassuring me that there wasn’t some chromosomal abnormality. But all I heard was ‘female,’ and I fell to pieces.”
“I was picturing Bryn with a little sister,” she reveals. “Two little girls in rain boots.”
“Afterward, I went through a range of emotions. There was something so sad about it—that there had been a life there, and then suddenly it was not there. There was also, I have to admit, a bit of relief that I wouldn’t be starting my new TV job seven months pregnant. And then there was immense guilt at the relief.”
As for whether or not she’ll try to have a second child again, Bethenny is leaving it up to fate.
“I’m healthy and could try again. But I don’t want to be a ‘trying’ person. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”