In her latest blog on WhatTheFlicka.com, Desperate Housewives star Felicity Huffman – mom of daughters Sophie, 11, and Georgia, 10 – shares Khalil Gibran’s poem On Children, “about parents really just being the stewards of their children.” Saying it “brings tears” every time she reads it, she goes on to share her thoughts on raising children with “autonomy” and the freedom to explore their worlds.
“I had an educational therapist tell me to try and think of my girls as foreign exchange students,” she writes. “This was in service of letting go a little bit, and not having every issue be a referendum on my children’s character and by extension my own moral character.”
She adds: “She said our daughters are in my husband’s and my care for a limited period of time and we are here to teach, nurture and guide them to flight. As parents we are caretakers really, not creators.”
“I can see that looking at my daughters with frustration, disappointment and worry about their future is WAY out of adjustment,” she continues. “Yes, my daughters are self-involved, short sighted, and can be really mean to each other. But that is their CURRENT behavior.”
The mom-of-two encourages parents to keep in mind that even the annoying behaviors are normal, and shall pass in time.
“I am trying to remember that this doesn’t necessarily mean they will be those kinds of adults,” she shares. “They grew out of pooping in their pants, crying when they didn’t get their way, and not being able to eat a Popsicle without wearing it, so why don’t I give them some room, to figure out this stuff too. Not that I condone bad behavior, but I don’t condemn them for it.”
Felicity continues to share the thoughtful poem:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
And He bends you with His might
That His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves also the bow that is stable.
Continue reading Felicity’s thoughts at WhatTheFlicka.com…