In her first blog for iVillage, Tia & Tamera star Tia Mowry reflects on how having her 16-month-old son Cree via C-section made her feel like less of a woman — and the lesson it taught her about motherhood.
“Cree Taylor Hardrict has been the best gift that has ever been given to me,” Tia writes. “Since my little prince has come into this world, I now feel that I have a new meaning and purpose of life.”
The actress goes on to talk about her birth story.
“While pregnant with Cree, it was told to me many times that when a woman has a child, their life will have a new meaning,” she writes. “So, I am a mom now, I have given birth, I am woman — hear me ROAR, right?”
She adds: “Not so fast. Why didn’t I feel like the lioness everyone said I would feel like once I had given birth? Maybe it was due to the fact that I had a Caesarean, and I needed to explore this feeling more. Cree was breeched for my last two months of pregnancy, and didn’t turn around. I tried everything from acupuncture to hanging upside down, to shinning lights near the va-jay-jay! Why didn’t he turn? I remember crossing my fingers after every check-up hoping that he would turn.”
Tia shares her feelings about letting go of her dreams of having a natural birth.
“You see, I always thought like many other women that if you gave birth the natural way, that’s what made you a woman,” she shares. “Giving birth the natural way was a passage every woman should take in order to experience what being a woman was all about. I mean, I meet women all the time who are making it happen with no epidural and no drugs, just by breathing and pushing — all natural.”
“But that did not happen for me,” she adds. “I remember asking, what did I do wrong?”
And with that experience came some clarity — and unexpected parenting advice.
“I have to say I have the best Ob/Gyn in the world. Dr Kumeitz softly said to me as my eyes filled with tears, “Tia, this is the first lesson in being a parent. Your child is not always going to do what you want them to do. He is already letting you know you can’t control all things.” This really hit home for me,” Tia shares. “She was right. Not only was she right about me learning to let go, she also made me realize that no matter how your child comes into this world, it does not justify nor is it the precursor to what an amazing mother you will be to your child, or the woman that you are.”
Continue reading Tia’s blog at iVillage…