New mom Beyoncé gets candid about suffering a miscarriage.
In Life Is But a Dream, her new documentary debuting on HBO in February, the singer opens up about her ordeal. “About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,” she says. “And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.”
The Grammy Award-winning singer and her husband of four years, R&B superstar Jay-Z, were thrilled about the news.
“I picked out names,” Beyoncé recalls. “I envisioned what my child would look like . . . I was feeling very maternal.”
But in the early stages of her pregnancy, something went wrong.
“I flew back to New York to get my check up — and no heartbeat,” she shares. “Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.”
The superstar – who is set to perform at the Super Bowl Half Time show this Sunday, February 3 – used music as her therapy.
“I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life,” she shares, without naming the track. “And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.”
Her second pregnancy, with now 1-year-old daughter Blue Ivy, was such a joy.
“Being pregnant was very much like falling in love,” she says. “You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.”