Mom-of-four Gena Lee Nolin is inviting Celebrity Baby Scoop readers along as she shares her life experiences – and asks for advice – as she juggles her busy life with husband Cale Hulse and their four children: Spencer, 16, Caia, 11, Hudson, 6, and Stella, 4.
In her first guest blog, Gena talks about creating a sense of harmony in your family. From cultivating good listening skills, to honoring everyone’s feelings and opinions, to setting boundaries, the former Baywatch star shares some great tips. Continue reading her words of wisdom, and share your thoughts, questions and advice in the comments.
“Keeping “harmony” in our family isn’t something that just magically happened, it takes work by everyone in our family everyday. First, it’s important that each one knows they are loved and appreciated by the others. One way we can show this is to respect them, their ideas, and their property. For example, if someone is feeling sad or lonely don’t just disregard this. Ask why and listen to what may really be going on.
We can show respect simply by being polite to one another. This isn’t always easy when you have children ranging from 4 to 16 years old! However, a simple please and thank you goes a long way in our household and they’ve been taught that.
The one thing this mama bear has learned is to show respect for all ideas, this does not mean I agree with them. Sometimes children come up with some wonderfully outrageous ideas that need to be penned in their baby books. But through the hindsight of our wonderful parental wisdom we can clearly see their outrageous idea isn’t viable. Remembering children see the world through rose colored glasses, (wasn’t that the best??) I think holding on to the kid in ourselves, helps us understand our children and by doing so, makes us better parents.
Here are some key things that have helped us keep harmony in our home:
Listening to my children. Knowing that we really hear what they’re saying, means so much to them. Having respect for them from day one, allows that very same respect to reflect back on us. They follow our lead and do what we do… I have some goofy sayings, I guess it’s the Minnesota in me… But my 6 year old just said in the car, good gravy mom, we’re going to be late! “Good Gravy!” Yes, it could’ve been much worse! But still…. [Laughing]
Remember each family member has different needs. Taking my little ones to the zoo does nothing for my 16 year old who wants to go see “Argo” for the third time to then discuss the film over dinner. One doesn’t always go along with the other. So, that’s where time management comes into play. I’ve had to make special mom time for each of them. Not always easy, but it can be done.
Did I forget that I had a husband? No… Of course not! Mommy and Daddy time is absolutely necessary! We always take a night to have special alone time. Whether it’s as simple as a walk or dinner, even a night out with another couple. Just being romantic in some small way is the glue to keeping harmony in our family. I call it the pyramid effect. When Mommy and Daddy are happy, everyones happy! [Wink] [Wink]
Having boundaries in all aspects of our lives is also so important, especially when it applies to our families. When you’ve promised your kids something, stick with it. Mean what you say, say what you mean. If someone from work say’s, we need you for this or that on Thursday night and I’ve already planned a night out with my family… Sorry, I can’t make it happen! Family always comes first. No if’s ands or but’s about it. Keeping your word creates accountability and in return makes my kids feel safe.
At the end of the day, NOTHING is perfect! We have our days where nothing works. Really, nothing! Kids are screaming, one is emotional with pimples being a lippy teen. I have pimples and cramps and I want to LOSE it! I guess looking back, there’s harmony in all of it. Except for the pimples and cramps!”View Slideshow »»