Reality star Tori Spelling released her new book today, titled Spelling It Like It Is. In the book, the mom-of-four– to Liam, 6, Stella, 5, Hattie, 2, and Finn, 1– opens up about her high-risk pregnancy with Finn and her experiences of being raised in extreme wealth to struggling to live within her means.
Tori chats with Celebrity Baby Scoop about how sharing her personal stories is “very cathartic” for her, the “horrific experience” she had when she was pregnant with Finn, and how her relationship with her mom is “a work-in-progress.” She goes on to discuss how she doesn’t raise her kids in Hollywood by any means.
CBS: Tell us all about your new book Spelling It Like It Is. What is the book all about and what inspired you to write it? What was your favorite part about writing the book?
TS: “Shockingly, it is about my life. [laughs] I had quite a bit of material, because I hadn’t written a book in a few years and I hadn’t gone this long in between my books. The book takes you through everything, from before Hattie was born and Dean being in ICU from the motorcycle accident, to my scary pregnancy with Finn, all of the houses we moved to, and our farm. It touches on everything about our lives currently.
My favorite part about writing the book was just being able to share my experiences. I think that’s why I have such a connection with people; I am willing to share what I’ve gone through. Maybe we all live in different places and maybe we all have our own different lifestyles, but, eclectically, we are all going through milestones in our lives, whether they are personally, career-wise, relationship-wise, or parenting-wise. I am happy to share my stories with people, because it’s very cathartic for me and I feel like it really bonds me with people. I love people and being able to talk to others about what they’re going through and what I went through.”
CBS: In the book, you open up about your high-risk pregnancy with Finn, and missing some early months with Hattie. What were you feeling during that time? How did you fight off any negative emotions and focus on positives? Did you practice any self-care while on bed rest?
TS: “It was really scary. It was a horrific experience and I don’t believe anything happened randomly…I think we go through things that we need to go through. At the time, it seemed like my whole world was collapsing and ending, but I had to get through it. Now, in hindsight, I look back and I think to myself about how that time made me such a strong woman and such a strong mother. I feel like I can get through anything now, and it really put everything into perspective. Finn and I also have this unbelievable bond that I know is because of the experience we went through together. It’s pretty amazing.
It was definitely a daily challenge to focus on the positives. I was in the hospital for two months laying flat on my back, and I couldn’t even walk around the hospital. I had a lot of time to think about my baby, my life, and myself. I had some pretty dark moments…I knew that I could literally sit there and spiral out of control with the negative thoughts, or I could turn it into a positive. To get myself through it, I had to picture what was going to be. In my mind, I had to convince myself that it was going to be okay, and that Finn and I were going to be okay. I pictured myself getting there with a healthy baby. I feel like our minds can do crazy things and we don’t even know what we are capable of doing. It really taught me that I could take myself to a positive place.”
CBS: In the book, you open up about being raised in extreme wealth, to your struggles to live within your own means. Please tell us more about this experience and how you worked on healing your relationship with your mom.
TS: “I definitely grew up in a very different lifestyle than how I raise my children now. Being raised a certain way was definitely a balance. You do by what you know. It’s what I knew and my instincts were to be like, ‘Oh, I got to do this as a kid so I should be able to do this for my children.’ However, it doesn’t always work out that way. Financially, we are in a totally different position.
It was kind of like starting over and becoming the mom that I wanted to be and raising my kids how I thought I should raise them, not imitating how I was raised. We are a different type of family; we want to someday own a complete farm, we love repurposing things, making everything, and DIY-ing, and we love doing everything together. My children have a very unique experience that doesn’t mimic anyone else’s lifestyle. It’s all about forming their own lifestyle.”
CBS: Do your kids have a sense of how hard you’ve worked to get where you are? Do they have a good relationship with your mom?
TS: “I definitely feel like I work a lot, and I don’t know if they understand completely. I am already trying to make them aware of what money means and how to handle money. I am also trying to teach them that when they do get things, they need to know the value of those things and take care of them. If it works like this, show them that. It’s about trying to make a difference and showing them how they need to understand that you don’t just get things and presents; you have to work hard for things. Mommy works hard and daddy works hard. It’s important that we teach them that at a young age.
They do have a good relationship with my mom, contrary to how it is played out in the public. It was definitely blown out of proportion. Our relationship is a work-in-progress, and I think that when I had kids of my own, our relationship became very different. Our relationship changed when I stopped focusing on the type of relationship we should have. Instead, I switched gears to focusing on the type of relationship we could cultivate. It’s different and maybe it is not the same relationship as our neighbors, or what you see on TV, but it’s our relationship and it’s special in it’s own unique way. I was more accepting of it that way, other than always wanting it to be something that it wasn’t.”
CBS: You and Dean seem like such a happy and strong pair. What do you think is the key to making it work?
TS: “Our relationship has such a strong base, which makes it works. We are both really busy, as our day is all kids, kids, kids, and then career. Each day, we have to find moments for us. Even if each day is chaotic, we have to find those little moments to steal and make about us. I think it is really important for parents to do that.”
CBS: Are you ever worried about raising your kids in Hollywood? What are some of the pros and cons of raising your kids in Tinseltown?
TS: “I am not worried about that at all, as I feel like we give them such a unique and homegrown experience. They’ve had a few interactions with Hollywood, like when we go to events or we run into the paparazzi and they know mommy and daddy are on TV. That is different and that is the Hollywood experience, but we do not raise them in Hollywood by any means. We grow our own food, we have animals, and we make everything at home. It’s a very different experience for a child growing up in Hollywood.”
For more info on Tori Spelling’s book, Spelling It Like It Is, or to order a copy, please visit Amazon.